You never know...

You never know what will happen next in (please insert country name here)... As a foreigner in a new culture or in a new land, certain behaviours or routines of the local life can be eye-opening, shocking, laughable, or unfathomable. Things can be so contrary to our norm that we end up noticing them immediately and compare them to what we are used to. I have come to realize that this is just part of the integration and acceptance of the new culture and meanwhile, it can also be an opportunity to bond with other ex-pats who are in the same position.

I've been thinking back to all of my abroad experiences and there seems to be a coping method in all the places I've been so far. I remember a phrase that some fellow travellers and I created in India while dealing with the frustrations of living and adapting to the ways of the people - F#&*ing India! Yes, I agree this is harsh. Maybe it is arrogant. But I ask you to please take this last comment lightly as we created this phrase when we we're walking through a field that was full of human shit and we were feeling particularly frustrated by the plumbing or lack of plumbing system.

Onward to Mexico, there is a phrase called "Ni Modo", this literally means without mode or basically, just let it go...there is nothing you can do to change it.

Finally, to catch you up to our present experience - China. During the first couple of days that we arrived here we realized that there is a new term that can help us deal with the differences that are present between our native country (Canada) and this new, vast, populated and contrastingly different country. The acronym T.I.C., we learned is used to help remind you that... "This is China". Allow me to fill you in on some of the issues we might have to remind ourselves that "This is China..."

Hhhhooccckkkk...I have something in my throat. Alright, alright, I know this is a bit overplayed but for good reason - Spitting, Horcking, Hawking and all other synonyms to refer to the projection of saliva from the mouth are a serious hazard when you walk down the street. This, may sound exaggerated or even intolerant but when I see someone gearing up for a farmer's blow I take cover. I purposely watch the sidewalk as I walk because you never know if some green or yellow mucus spit is waiting to attach itself to your shoe. Is is too much to ask, to hold your spit until you see a bush, the base of a tree or grassy spot??? But the worst in my opinion is the sound, the ever so violent throat clearing sound that rises above all other sounds. We will be walking by the ocean, listening to the waves and then hhhhooooccckkk!!! We may be walking through a park, listening to the crickets and the birds and then hhhhooooccckkk!!! I can't run from it, it follows me, I try to ignore it, but I end up thinking about it more. I have seen people spit next to the fruits they are selling, people spitting on the floors of restaurants and I have even seen someone in my building spit on the floor of the elevator in my building. Serenity now...

Those pants have a hole in them. The babies here do not have clothing or cloth that covers their bottoms. It's like someone just took some scissors and cut the bottoms right off. So, their cheeks and their cracks are out there for everyone to see. This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, "cute as a babies bottom". I can see a very practical logic behind these pants but my fear would be, "what happens when they need to go?" Well, let me walk you through this one...The mother kneels down either on a curb or the sidewalk and they hold the baby with one arm under the knees letting the babies bottom face the ground. Now I know you're thinking, "this is a baby were talking about...you can't command them to go." Truth behold, if you teach your baby a special whistle, yes a special whistle, they will go on command. I guess the worst thing about this whole thing, is that along with dodging the spit on the sidewalks, you now have to dodge the babies doodoo...

Watch out for that fishing hook! Yes, seriously. There are many pleasant walkways along the lakes and ocean here in Xiamen but a very serious danger as you walk, is getting hooked by one of the fisherman casting his line into the water. One friend told me he saw a man's cheek get snagged by the cast of a fishing hook. Ouch! The other day we were walking over a pedestrian bridge and then all of the sudden, a man fishing off the side, caught a fish and lifted his pole over the railing and the fish on the end of the line swung about 2 feet from our heads. The really coincidental thing about this man, is that when we walked by an hour later, he had caught another fish but this time we were about 10 feet away. Not close enough to feel the splash like the first time.

Let me just leave you with a funny video...